OBAMA IN TEL AVIV

TEL AVIV — Moments ago, Air Force One landed at Ben Gurion International Airport, and President Obama was whisked off the plane to meet with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu at the American Embassy here.

Obama interrupted his long-heralded visit to Burma, Thailand, and Cambodia to deal with the crisis in Palestine.

Understandably irritated at this interruption, Obama immediately confronted Netanyahu:

“Benny, what the hell are you doing, risking a war between the United States and Israel, on the one hand, and Egypt, Jordan, Syria, and Iran, on the other hand?”

“Barry,” Netanyahu rejoined, as Obama grimaced, “all I'm doing is protecting the Biblical lands of Judea and Samaria, building on and expanding on the monumental achievements of King Solomon.”

“In that case,” Obama said, “I'm taking away the iron drones that we gave you.”

“Okay, Mr. President,” Netanyahu explained, “I'm gonna tweet AIPAC, the American Israel Public Affairs Committee, and tell them what you have just told me, which means that the rest of your presidency will be hell, or, as we say in Hebrew, Sheol.”

Obama then, in his turn, tweeted the Arab League, and immediately, Egyptian President Mohamed Morsi, King Abdullah II bin-Hussein of Jordan, and Moaz al-Khatib, the president of the National Coalition for Syrian Revolutionary and Opposition Forces, together with the foreign ministries of France, the United Kingdom, and Germany, prevailed on Netanyahu to quit bombing Gaza City; at which point Hamas temporarily abandoned its plan to destroy, and then occupy, Israel.

All these arrangements were made by a solitary reporter, and were immediately reported by CNN's Wolf Blitzer, who prefaced his announcement by saying, “This is one hell of a situation that I am reporting to you from the Situation Room.”