CRUZ IS OBAMA'S SAVIOR

WASHINGTON — It's been an astonishing week here in Washington.

First President Obama wanted to go to war, next minute, he didn't.

But, given that he didn't want to go to war, who would've thought that he would be bailed out by none other than Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas)?

“What we want to accomplish most of all,” Cruz explained to a solitary reporter, “is to shut down the federal government completely, by simply starving the government, not passing a budget at all.”

“And without a budget, see, how can the president wage war against anybody, even a mean old thug like Bashar al-Assad?”

But in Kentucky, Sen. Rand Paul (TP-Kentucky) told his aides, “It's a great idea, but, dammit, I didn't think of it first. You know, guys, Ted and I are really going to be butting heads when we try to outdo each other by seizing control of the GOP when we both run for president.”