RIO DE JANEIRO — At yesterday’s marquee showdown between Argentina and Germany in the World Cup, Angela Merkel, though thoroughly enjoying Deutschland’s 1-0 victory over Argentina in the one hundred and eighteenth minute, nevertheless couldn’t help thinking that CIA Director John Brennan, observed by a solitary reporter lurking behind Argentina’s bench, was up to no good.
The solitary reporter threatened to out Brennan, who tossed the solitary reporter onto the field, causing a massive disruption in the event watched by the entire world, with all seventy-four thousand fans at Maracana Stadium yelling in unison, “Yankees, go home!”
Turns out that the CIA Station Chief in Berlin, just this week sent back to Langley by Merkel, was trying to administer steroids to Argentina’s star player, Lionel Messi, who failed to score.
A chagrined Brennan tweeted President Obama that his chances for improving his dwindling popularity in South America had just vanished, while the ousted CIA Station Chief found himself under Merkel’s boot, pleading for mercy.
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