Trump Rounds Out Cabinet Picks

RNC HEADQUARTERS, TRUMP TOWER — With three weeks to go, Donald Trump, supremely confident that his hatemongering rhetoric, together with his conspiracy theories and his hatred for the Republican Party, will propel him to the White House, has told our associate solitary reporter, Johanna Jones, exactly whom he will direct the Senate to confirm as his nominees to his Cabinet and other key positions.

 

In previous posts, we have indicated several of Mr. Trump’s choices, so in the list below, we indicate the dates of those picks for the benefit of our readers. Further detail on those selections can be found by consulting our sitemap.

 

Secretary of State: Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov (October 8). Mr. Trump will tell Lavrov to appoint Billy Bush as his Chief of Diplomatic Protocol.

 

Ambassador to Slovenia: the current Mrs. Trump.

 

FLOTUS: Mr. Trump will choose a new trophy wife after he sends Melania to Slovenia. 

 

Ambassador to Brazil: Ryan Lochte (August 21).

 

Treasury: John Stumpf (September 20), although Rudy Giuliani wanted  that job, or Homeland Security, really bad.

 

Attorney General: Alabama’s Judge Moore (October 1).

 

Interior: Jack Gerard, President and CEO of the American Petroleum Institute. Mr. Trump Adoes not approve of the appearance of President Obama’s Interior Secretary, Sally Jewell.

 

Defense: as of press time, this position has not been filled. We here at AP invite readers’ suggestions.

 

Transportation: New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie. Christie, who is nominally directing Mr. Trump’s transition planning, really wanted to be tapped as Veep or as Attorney General, but he lost out to the Ten Commandments Judge.

 

Health and Human Services: Wayne LaPierre, the top gunslinger at the NRA. (“The safety of all our citizens is my top concern," Trump told Jones).

 

Child Protection Services Division of Health and Human Services: Barron Trump.

 

Surgeon General: Trump's physician, Dr. Harold Bornstein (August 30).

 

Homeland Security: Ann Coulter (September 13). Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio was seriously considered, but he lost out to Coulter because, at 84, he is too old.

 

Education: Trump University Co-Founder Jonathan Spitalny (September 14).

 

Labor: Sen. Rand Paul (TP-Kentucky). Sen. Paul is in favor of abolishing the Mine Safety and Health Administration, which is part of the Labor Department, and Trump has embraced Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell’s constant refrain that President Obama and Mrs. Clinton have declared war on coal.

 

Housing and Urban Development: Eric Trump.

 

Agriculture: Tiffany Trump ("I want a pretty girl in there, that’s the important thing”).

 

Energy: Ivanka Trump (“Ditto”).

 

Veterans Affairs: This Department will be abolished. "Mr. Trump is not interested in supporting veterans,” Jones informed us. “Mr. Trump told me that any veterans who are wounded are losers."

 

Environmental Protection Agency: the EPA is not a Cabinet agency, which means that, for Mr. Trump, it does not deserve to continue within the US government.

 

White House Press Secretary: Roger Stone, longtime GOP back alley political operative and the author of The Clintons’ War On Women.

 

Nominee to the Supreme Court to succeed Justice Antonin Scalia: Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas). “That  way, he won’t run against me in 2020,” Trump explained to Jones.

 

Commerce: Donald Trump Jr.

 

Chairman of the RNC: Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Alabama), the first sitting senator to endorse Mr. Trump. Sen. Sessions almost got the top spot at Homeland Security, but lost to Ann Coulter because Mr. Trump thinks so highly of women.

 

 

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