LONDON — In 1945, there was V-E Day and V-J Day, at the end of World War II in Europe and Japan. Today is V-C day, because former FBI Director James Comey will be telling the Senate Intelligence Committee and the world what a dipshit Donald Trump is.
Knowing full well what Comey will be saying, Trump had promised, through his contentious (to the press) lackey Sean Spicer, that today he would be very busy. Which is why in the middle of the night he boarded Air Force One and arrived at dawn in London to campaign for British Prime Minister Theresa May in her bid for reelection.
However, that really didn’t work out very well for May, because as soon as the Londoners saw Trump in Piccadilly Circus, they rushed to the polls to vote for Labour's candidate, Jeremy Corbyn.
The Londoners, as well as the rest of the intelligent voters in the UK, also marked their ballots in bold print, “STAY IN THE EU” and voted for Corbyn.
As soon as he finished foaming at the mouth in Trafalgar Square, Trump barged uninvited into Buckingham Palace and told Queen Elizabeth II to sell him her vast land holdings, “So I can put up as many casinos as I want, on as many golf courses as I want.” Completely unaware of the appropriate protocol in a meeting with royalty, Trump, unaccompanied by Melania, turned his back on the Queen, stormed out of the royal presence, and tweeted, “Just as I take full credit for persuading my close personal friends in Saudi Arabia to cut diplomatic relations with Qatar, today I take full credit for assuring Theresa a bigly majority in Parliament.”