Thanksgiving Day, 2018
Chief Justice John Roberts, a judicial conservative, has rebuked Donald Trump for hyperpartisaning the federal judiciary.
And Trump, always emotionally fragile, with virtually no self-control, immediately tweeted back, telling Roberts that he has “Obama judges” as colleagues.
Early this morning, with chief associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman and her colleague, associate solitary reporter Keith Coleman observing, Chief Justice Roberts summoned Trump to his chambers.
Foaming at the mouth, and whining mightily that the Chief Justice had very rudely forced him to leave his pleasure palace at Mar-a-Lago, Trump collapsed on the floor when he saw that Special Counsel Robert Mueller, a Republican like Roberts, was in the room.
“Sir,” Roberts began, with the utmost politeness, “you are trying to rewrite immigration law. That’s unconstitutional.”
“Mr. Mueller is here for your long-awaited deposition.”
Trump had to be restrained by Acting Deputy Chief United States Marshal Donald Washington and several of his burly deputies.
“Sir,” Mueller began, “the Chief Justice and I have discussed the futility of putting you under oath, because we know full well that you would commit perjury anyway.”
“So the Chief Justice and I are cutting to the chase. This is a deposition, but, instead of taking sworn testimony, we are deposing you from your high office and replacing you with Hillary Rodham.”
The Chief Justice had to call Defense Secretary James Mattis for reinforcements, many of whom had been illegally sent to our southern border.
In the back of the room, Acting Attorney General Matthew Whitaker was seen yelling at the top of his lungs that everything that Chief Justice Roberts and Special Counsel Mueller were doing had gone way beyond the pale.
Enter Hillary Rodham, the most intelligent person in the room, as Chief Justice Roberts administered the oath of office to her, with Bill holding a Methodist Bible for his wife, before she and Bill marched down Pennsylvania Avenue to the White House, where Melania snarled at them, refused to give them a tour, and, sotto voce, expressed profound thanks to Chief Justice Roberts and Special Coiunsel Mueller for taking her husband away to the United States Penitentiary in Hazelton, West Virginia.
Associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones was ecstatic as she showed Hillary to her Oval Office.