Ides of March, 2020
Donald Trump can’t abide anybody upstaging him.
Which is why, as Bernie and Joe squared off, without a live audience, in a one-on-one debate for the soul fo the Democratic Party (which, as we keep saying, Bernie has never joined) — which is why Trump, who has totally messed up on the coronavirus pandemic — continues to lie about the seriousness of what everybody in the world is talking about.
Today, to upstage Bernie and Joe, Trump, our consummate Liar-in-Chief, continues to spread false information about how his so-called Administration is dealing with the pandemic.
He said today that the pandemic is “under control.”
And that he has “tremendous control of it” (https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/15/politics/fact-check-trump-control-coronavirus/index.html).
Associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones is with Trump 24/7. She does double duty as well, because she knows how to be in more than one place at the same time, which is why, unknown to anyone except our stellar crew of associate solitary reporters, she has a private apartment in an undisclosed location deep in the bowels of the Naval Observatory, where Pence lives, about four miles away from the Oval Office.
Pence — who craves with every atom of his theocratic, hyper-evangelical body, to succeed Trump after Trump completes his third term — knows that Trump is mentally deranged.
Because, as we have reported here many times, Trump has classic narcissistic personality disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and paranoia, as noted by former Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe before tonight’s CNN debate began.
That’s why, as associate solitary reporter Jones just texted us, Pence invoked the Twenty-Fifth Amendment, having, only ten minutes ago, sent Trump packing to the psych unit at George Washington Unversity Hospital (the closest acute general hospital to the White House).
And five minutes later, Pence was on camera with Dr. Anthony Fauci, the Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases at the National Institutes of Health. Dr. Fauci is our nation’s leading expert on infectious diseases.
Then, in a concise ten-minute statement, Dr. Fauci advised the nation of what needs to be done to deal with the biggest crisis Donald Trump has faced since January 20, 2017.
As to the debate, it was, in our view, the best yet, in a studio where the debaters did not have to speak mostly to their supporters watching in a live audience, which meant that (unlike in previous presidential debates this election season) the candidates could hear the moderators’ questions.
We give Uncle Joe more points in the Smile Department, because Grouchy Bernie knows how to smile, but he doesn’t know near enough about foreign policy as Joe does.
In the coming days, look for Trump to pardon Michael Flynn, his first of many National Security Advisors -- on which we here at AP already reported (https://www.apocryphalpress.com/2020/02/12/klobuchar-celebrates-her-strong-finish-in-new-hampshire-atop-iconic-mount-chocorua-trump-pardons-stone-manafort-and-flynn/, on February 12.