Benjamin Netanyahu ordered his all-powerful Air Force to destroy a building in Gaza housing the offices of Associated Press, with a one hour warning to evacuate
(https://www.cnn.com/2021/05/15/middleeast/israel-palestinian-conflict-intl/index.html).
Also in that now-destroyed skyscraper was the Palestinian office of Apocryphal Press, which is widely read in Gaza, Israel, the West Bank, and Lebanon. It is not read
in Saudi Arabia or Iran, but it is read by everyone in Armenia.
Associate solitary reporter Mustafa Alireza observed the evacuation of the hundreds of employees of the Gaza office of Apocryphal Press. Seehttps://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2014/10/the-crisis-in-us-israel-relations-is-officially-here/382031/
Yesterday, immediately after Donald Trump’s ally, Elise Stefanik, was elected by the House Republican Conference to the Number Three position in leadership, Stefanik
called President Biden a far-left socialist.
She also had unkind words to say about House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
With hundreds of TV cameras soaking up every word she said, Stefanik condemned President Biden for not doing enough for Israel.
Which is why ASR Adam Stern just texted us to say that Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu, clinging to power by a thread, and seemingly intent on waging perpetual
war against Hamas, as a distraction to his trial for official coruption, has granted Israeli citizenship to Stefanik.
“You see, Adam,” Netanyahu explained, “Donald Trump did more for Israel than any previous man who ever sat in the Oval Office”
“And after what Stefanik said about protecting Israel and about how Biden hasn’t stood up for me, and knowing that Stefanik is only 36, I’ve decided to take her under
my wing. Since she’s totally devoted to Donald Trump, she’ll be a really great stand-in for me.”
“Elise was on the Armed Services Committee, which has given me billions of military aid. That means that she will do whatever is necessary to keep those billions
in military aid flowing to me for my personal use, especially when Bernie Sanders — who is the worst Jew I ever met — wants to cancel all those billions in
military aid (https://www.politico.com/news/2021/05/15/democrats-israel-palestine-488384).
“She also said that when my great friend Donald runs in 2024, Trump has promised to make her his running mate, to run against Kamala."
“I speak English and so does she. In fact, I speak English a lot better than she does. She hates Muslims because Trump does also, so I can easily count on her to keep
providing me with as many war planes as I want so I can continue to bomb Gaza as well as Jordan and Syria."
“So, Adam, given all that Stefanik is doing to protect me as the most powerful and most macho guy in the entire Mideast, that’s why I've decided to make
Elise a citizen of Israel.”
Stefanik’s husband, Matthew Manda, who works in communications, told Stern that he welcomes the opportunity to move to Jerusalem, where he will continue to make sure
that even though Biden is president, he will never allow Biden to move the American embassy back to Tel Avid....maybe to Yerevan, though, if Biden can maintain his
close ties to Armenian Americans.
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Apocryphal Press®, a registered mark of Tom Korson, blends fantasy with fact, the former often predominating.
As George Eliot said in Middlemarch, “Satire should be true up to a certain point”
Our subscribers catch up on the news that didn't happen and, sometimes, on the news that we wish would happen
Our large editorial staff is pleased to receive comments of any kind
Tell your friends about Apocryphal Press
All we need is their email address and their permission for us in our IT Department to add them to our MailChimp list.
Site Map:apocryphalpress.com
Masthead designed and built by PixelTrickster™
Copyright © 2021 Apocryphal Press,
All Rights Reserved.
Apocryphal Press® is a United States Registered Trademark of Tom Korson.